drawing Ilse-Dore Steffens - Tritonus
Ilse-Dore Steffens - Tritonus

16. About Death and Life

This element still uses the old Contao 2 SRC format. Did you upgrade the database?

- Translation: Astrid Zimmermann -

"Don't fight the darkness as it is within you.
All you going to do is fight yourself.
Allow the light to expand and you will lighten the space inside yourself.

In this way, you will find Me within yourself, as I Am God within you.
I am light and I am eternal."

Babadschi 1999

About Death and Life
The transformation of the body is the return into your Eternal Life. This happens via DEATH, as he was the first to come and he is the last to leave. Death gave you everything you needed at the beginning of your path. Now, at the end of your path, you can give him everything he needs.

Death was only temporary. He is not, where the Eternal Life is. There, only you can go - when the body is alive!

At these times, you need to say goodbye to death. Yet, how will you do this, if you haven't once looked DEATH in the eyes, without recognizing him as a - loving part of yourself?

Entrust yourself to us and take a journey with us into the realms of death and love, into those realms of your life, that you have feared. We will lead you

inside and through them. We are Thoth and Maitreya, the fathers of the Hall Of The Dark Thrones. We are Saint Germain and Sabine.

Practice and reflection
What we call practice is in truth a deep transformational training. Again, we integrated practice and reflection into the actual text. You may wish to read the general remarks to lessons 2, 3, 6, and 7.
In lesson 2, you will find two stories of induction, which will indeed lead you through the gates of darkness.

Please note: death is the event, DEATH the entity, the father of death and guardian of the bodily life.

The entity DEATH
At the end of the Lime-Age, which we are talking about at some other lesson, you created what you fear the most today: DEATH and death. You created him as the ultimate possibility to exit the physical body, even before there were bodies. An entity, a helper, had to be there, should you become unable to help yourself, should you become unable to detach from the body. Death is your own creation in preparing for the bodily world. He is the life insurance of Spirit, which you used in many different ways. In that alone, lay a huge filed of probable life- and love-experiences.

Each single one of you has given a spark of your Heart-Light into the heart of the entity, which offered itself for this service. Each gave a spark of your Spirit-Electrical- Love, a flame of your creative light from the 1. Crystal Age.

This is how this entity became the guardian of your collective Heart-Light-Flame. There was that moment when you looked into the eyes of this entity, filled with love and gratitude for that, which he was going to do for you.
And then, you gave him a wave of your Spirit-Magnetic-Love, a piece of the veil of your Creative Darkness from the 1. Crystal Age. You wrapped him into that veil - so he disappeared from your view. Until the end of time. Later, you called this beloved being: DEATH.

Enveloped into the collective dark of the 1. Crystal Age, this collective Light-Being walked with you, a being of the highest Spirit electricity, surrounded by a cloak of lowest Spirit magnetism. Even though, during your physical life, DEATH stayed hidden and inaccessible from you - he could reach you everywhere and at any time. At the end of your walks on Earth, you encountered him again and again in order for him to open the gate to the eternal life, to bring you back home. DEATH has always been your gate between the worlds. He didn't only bring you death on Earth, yet also life. His Heart-Light was watching over you and protected you on your path. How often could you not die even though you wished so much to? Yet, his dark cloak lay below you and caught you as son as his death-flame reached you - or should we better say, Life-Flame or Love-Flame?

You have forgotten what the nature of this being is, just like you forgot your own. You began to fear and hate DEATH and with that yourself, because he came from you. With time, your perception changed: once, you created the entity DEATH, left it behind to fend for itself, now DEATH seems to reign over you and leaves you behind to fend for yourself.

Indeed, a reversal happened, he is now in front of you and reached the end of time long before you.

There is another, yet fundamental difference between him and you, which makes this possible: with his loving will and willing love, he is holding the primal Spirit Light and Dark totally separate within himself. Light is only within and Dark only outside. In this way, he was able to keep the elementary power of the descend within his dark cloak and the elementary power of the ascend within his light heart and travel with great ease between the highest dimensions of light and the lowest realms of darkness.

He could never build a body and was therefore never exposed to SPACE, TIME and PATH. Everywhere and at any time, he is Here and Now.

With his glistening inner flame and untouchable outer cloak, DEATH is at the same time the perfect guardian of your feminine and masculine Spirit. These can only meld when you overcome your death-force.

For millennia, DEATH arose from the end of your future to free you from your magnetic body-prison with his electric Love-Bolt whenever you were trapped within it. You could call him and he would come and pick you up. Indeed, DEATH is your greatest victory before the age of your bodies began and at the end of the time of your mortal bodies.

Please acknowledge: it is the LIGHT, which kills your bodies, not the DARK. It is LOVE, which pulls you out of the circle of your earthly family, not HATE.

It is the LIFE-FLAME that shoots out of the heart, which delivers you, not the dark cloak.
As long as you don't yet need it, the cloak guaranties that the death-love-light remains hidden from you during your bodily life.

You yourself have mixed the primal Light and Dark within you - more so with each level of descend - and compacted it into electric-magnetic energies.

Through this, your physical bodies could emerge. Each single one of your cells is infused equally with primal Light and Dark. With each solidification of your feelings and thoughts the primal Light-Dark in your cells became solidified too - weaker and paler. They became very similar - a twilight and Shadow-Dark within you. Your glistening divine Light-Dark turned grey and fell into oblivion. Since then, you float in the realms of your horrors and fears.

This was not wrong at all. It was your path, on which you could make the experiences of your life that remain beyond the grasp of DEATH. Indeed, you could built worlds and palaces, could create music and games. You could paint pictures and write books. You could eat, grow, love each other and make each other happy. You could embody cosmic love and wisdom. You could take the primal Light and Dark and bring them within your bodies down to Earth.

DEATH relinquished this path, it's harvest and the riches at the end of time, right from the start. He wanted to afford these to you, he wanted to serve your path. He wanted to accompany you and release you whenever this was necessary. Whenever your physical breath was gone, he took you to him into the deepest darkness, the highest light, so you could refresh yourself and then move on. His loving heart has always sent out the death-flame, and his dark cloak held you securely until you wanted to go back to Earth.

DEATH can reach you because you yourself carry the death force inside of you - in each cell, feelings and thoughts, even though it is much less than his.

And so, you have always been resonating with him. Your own death force made it possible to live in a body for a long time and at the end to entrust yourself into this loving entity.
A fascinating synthesis, isn't it?

This black-veiled Light-Being, this dark journeyman of your crystalline being has now escorted you until the darkest point of your descend: a brother, as sister, a mother and a father, a guardian of your eternal life - a being that loves you ever so deeply - a primary part of yourself. Your fear of death is nothing else but your fear of your true life. Your fear of DEATH is the fear of yourself!
Jesus once said. " If you don't want to die, you will not live."
This means: "If you don't acknowledge your own death force, your crystalline Heart-Light cannot shine."

Practice I
There are an infinite number of possibilities to approach the entity DEATH. Always be aware, though, that it is the closeness to yourself, you seek and find when you get in contact with DEATH.

Open yourself out of your loving heart and allow yourself to establish a lively communication with DEATH. Call him inside your innermost heart-space and ask him to come close just to breathe with you.

Ask him to answer any questions, you may have.

Tell him about your journeys on Earth. Talk to him. Let him partake on your experiences - your love and your joy, but also your pain and your hope. Gift him with your loving attention and devote yourself to him, just as he devoted himself to you for millennia.

Ask him to take you with him onto inner journeys, on which you can experience your true Self and the true meaning of your earthly life.

Trust yourself and comprehend the death forces inside of you as a great blessing, which make your life on Earth possible. All negative feelings and thoughts, all magnetic elements and descending powers of your body belong to them. Realize that you have already read about these death forces in the preceding lessons - without them being named as such. Re-read the lessons, which interested or touched you the most - indeed, read them again together with DEATH. Read them to him and receive his thoughts on them.

Ask Father DEATH at night to put you into his lap to sleep, where you can let go of everything that shaped and depressed you.

Allow yourself to fall into the depth of his halls, where you felt pain and suffering. And be very sure that you are carried and held, secured within the folds of his cloak, that you can sleep until you are refreshed and ready to take your next steps.

Gift DEATH with that what he relinquished from the beginning: your life, your body, the pulsing love of your human heart and never forget: that, what you give from the heart returns to you a thousand fold refined.

Encounter with death
1. Decline and mergence
I, Sabine, would like to share a Love-and Induction Story with you. It describes my connection with the beloved being DEATH, the guardian of the darkness and all shadows. I have felt this connection since my early childhood. The dark has always touched me much more than the light. Yet only since a short time has this inner connection become alive - reality and fulfilment:

My body is dozing. I dream and float between the worlds. A beloved Spirit entity, black magician and death, appears in my room. A black veil hides his dark face, yet I tremble from the power of his presence. Love and longing blaze up and deep inside, I know that I will find all solace and meaning in this being. He denotes that the time for our merging is ripe. Here and Now I could cross the membrane if I so chose. However, I must consider this step well, as it would pull me away from my earthly life.

The inner longing at his countenance is so great that I cannot consider anything. Still, he warns me: "Once you crossed through this veil, you may never return." I ask: "...because I cannot or I will not?" He says: " Because you will not, you cannot." I make my decision and tell him: " I want to come to you!

Yet I also want to return to give to humanity what I brought for them - to fulfil the intent of my birth. I want to come to you - and yet, I don't want to leave them too early." He smiles and says: " Prepare for the first encounter with me - unconditional. I will appear again when you are ready."

He answers without reacting to me and seems to want to leave. A shockwave of despair goes through me. If he leaves now, when is he gonna return? I call out: "Wait, don't leave now. I want to come to you - NOW!" He asks, re-evaluating, testing me again: "You don't want to know what awaits you and if you are really gonna return?" I say: " I believe in us. Why should I place conditions?"

"All right then, you decide," he answers. " I will greet you when you arrive. Be aware that if you step through the membrane, I will leave the realm, in which I have lived so far. We will both enter a space together, that neither one of us knows." I ask: " Later, when I return into my room, will you also return to yours?"

He smiles and says: " This room, in which you are now, will exist later just as little as the room in which I am now. There is no "later", just change. There are no rooms, just consciousness. No move, we are going to make now, is going to lead us back to where we came from. Together, we will open a new room. You will not return the same as you came. And neither will I be who I was before." He takes a break and then continues: " Consider well if you wish to take this step. It will change your life and my purpose. It is your decision alone." His voice sounds very calm and yet there is an uncertainty, a risk, as if I was daring something, I could regret later. Again, the inner longing to meld is stronger.

I take a deep breath and then a definite step toward him. Yet, as I cross the veil, my perception suddenly shifts.
My just existing expectation and hope to be in his embrace any moment now - safe and redeemed - is extinguished. He is gone from my view and I fall into the depth, into darkness and freezing cold. I fall for some time, until I have forgotten the worlds behind the veil. I cross through chasms and swamps, meet horror and fustiness, the demons and insects, the beings of darkness; breathing phlegm and ignorance, stertorous, touching ferocity and boredom whilst falling.

At the bottom of the abyss, a swampy ground, horrid animals crawling toward me. A huge insect jumps on top of me and clutches me - drilling its sting deep inside of me. In nameless pain, I feel nothing. I open myself wide, breathe in and out, expand my being and disappear from this room - and the insect also. Yet, I fall, deeper still into an even denser darkness, into an even blacker blackness, into even darker obscurity.

Now it is warm, hot and very dry. This space is not of earthly origin, no longer of human nature. Here reign the prime causes and essences of human prime-fears, prime-aggressions and prime-guilt. And I don't stop falling. Everything is twisting, emerges, distorts and disappears again. My own feelings dance a diabolical dance within myself and constantly change their masks. The security of my perceptions is taken from me and I become horrifyingly alienated to myself.

The identity of NOTHING imposes itself upon me and suffocates me. An extra-terrestrial and extra-human room of darkness surrounds me - excruciating quiet and chaotic ado within and outside of myself. Horror is piercing though my whole being, wants to extinguish me to the last fibre. Yet, I'm still falling - through room-curves, dimension-wholes, along timeless lines, endless, unfathomable, for a long time - until finally, I feel ground below my feet.

Softly, I sit up. It is, as if I have always been here. My eyes can see, even though the darkness is the deepest here. Yet, I see that he stands across from me: the father of all shadows and demons, the guardian of all deaths. He looks at me, motionless, softly - yet I feel a great distance between us, a foreignness and deep separation. I look into his eyes and an immense wave of pain rolls through my existence, envelopes my heart and wants to tear it apart. I would like to express something, yet I cannot talk, as my body no longer exists. My whole being becomes a mounting ocean of tears, a single enormous wave, which washes away all oceans and continents of my life - until finally all is still inside of me. "This deep, I have fallen", I whisper soundlessly.

"This deep, I have descended. This far, I went", he says with regal dignity. " You humans call it falling and plunging. You feel horror and fear, hate and guilt. Yet, there is none of that in these rooms. Here reigns the One Darkness, from which all dark, shadow and deaths of your life sprang forth. Here reigns that LOVE, that PEACE, that HARMONY and that ORDER, from which the horrors of your ages sprang forth - and with that the completion of your life."

I breathe deeply, take this PEACE OF DARKNESS in and feel how the distance between him and me gently dissolves. Quietly, he says:" Now that you have taken this step, I will take mine." Without any movement, he takes a step toward me. Now, we are again in ONE room and our hearts burn in ONE fire. Gently, we embrace each other and only say one word: "Welcome!"

Practice II
Allow this story to flow into your heart. Allow all energies, feelings, thoughts and currents to flow freely. Allow everything to be equal: fear and love, pain and hatred, longing and rage. Open the gates of your Ego (compare Lesson 2) and become totally empty. Allow a lot of time for this and repeat the exercise, this transformational training, often.

Remember all the many moments in your life, in which you have wanted to let go and didn't do it, in which you should have trusted yourself and yet were looking for advice and solution from the outside. Remember the many moments when you have wanted to love and forbid yourself to. What has all of this to do with your story? Find out and allow yourself plenty of time.

Remember the dreams of your earthly nights, the nightmares, the horror visions, when you were hunted and pushed into the darkness, where you have despairingly searched for a loophole, struggled at the edge of the abyss - and still fell. If you are ready, allow these dreams to return and receive them.

With all your heart be ready to fall, to plunge, to surrender to the darkness - this beloved, forgotten part of yourself, which will never let you go.

Many claims and expectations were addressed at you - from people, authorities and circumstances - many you refused and returned, without opening yourself to them, without even looking at them.
What's this to do with your story? Dream, fall and experience yourself.

2. Entering the realms of horror
Finally, I asked: "What are we going to do now?" He says:" Not we, but you. You didn't want to leave humanity too soon. You wanted to give them what you brought. You have the opportunity here and now. You might as well go right now to the places, where so many of them are stuck since primitive times. Many of them understand themselves as a part of these realms and do not have a spark of their will to change within them any more. You will see a landscape with rocks, which were humans and are souls. They have turned to stone and hope, to remain unrealised und unchanged. And indeed, nobody has the right to pull them out of this against their will. Yet still, these realms are now to be dissolved, their existence has to cease."

"What can I do if I cannot go against their will?", I ask. He smiles mysteriously and his eyes twinkle: " You can indeed only do it with their consent. Yet, for that, you must melt them and bring them into a flowing. Go into these realms, merge with them - and yet stay untouched. Presume their misery and calamity - yet do not be permeated by it. Take their horror and stagnancy inside you - yet stay breathing light. Let the water of your life flow over their rocks until the stone is melted - yet deeply respect their being. Take your light being into their dark worlds and they will change - because they will want to!"

"Will I go by myself without you?" I ask disbelievingly. "Would you be here otherwise? Would you alone have been able to meet me?", he asks smilingly.

"Yet still, you will not be going all by yourself. I am you - just became you. I will reside deep within you and show you the way out when it is time. There are many ways in these realms - and that alone makes you powerless. You will not find the exit by yourself. This is the reason, I'm within you, even though you will not feel me. You will accomplish what there is to accomplish and I will lead you out again. Mischievously smiling, he adds: " Isn't this how we have always done it?"

"And you will lead me out no sooner than before they have all shifted?" - "Yes." - " Does that realm not dissolve with their deliverance? Am I not going to arrive here automatically just because they are all freed?" - " No. This realm stays. It will be empty, yet more intricate as ever before in the abundance of their solidified misery. The astral realms will be admitted a new crystalline purpose - and here the paths will multiply into a new, still unknown eternity. It will persist and I will lead you out."

I breathe in purposefully. With this breath, I confirm my unity with DEATH, our all borders outlasting love, and at the same time, my farewell from this beloved, deeply familiar entity. Then, I say. "I'm ready." My surroundings change again. He is gone and a virgin forest, mountains and swamplands appear. Contours, shapes and shadows lethargically flow into each other, as if they could not decide what they want to be. There is a labyrinth of paths, tunnels, holes, chasms and bridges, similar to a human intestine, cave-like, yet open. Like a huge worm, paths and hollow lanes meander into one another, jumbled and tumbled. No direction is discernible. I know, I cannot walk down a path, as there aren't any. Path and destination have become one - absurd. There are so many winding ways that there is none - nothing but paths that take over each other, cut each other off, lead back, strangle and lead to nowhere. The chaos is visible, audible and tangible.

I consider my options briefly. How can I get into the centre of this realm if not by my loving will? Again, the scene changes. The dullness and narrowness of the room remain as well as the whining whisper and deafening drone of a hostile soundlessness. A warped vibration of deepest frequencies tries to fog my clarity. Now, I stand on a mountains edge high above the landscape, yet somehow level with it. Empty gasps rattle in the grey mass of paths. Blind eyes dart about. Ash-grey faces unhinge themselves from the rocks and fixate me - try to shake me out of my clarity and pull me toward them. Voices rise from the swamps to distract me and overshadow my heart-light.

I must not allow myself to become like them! I must not follow them! Not they must pull me to them, but I them to me. They must not get my pity, I want to gift them with my compassion. They must not act, but I, as they are not in balance, but I am. Yet, they are very powerful. They must not dictate the quality of the touch, but I must. I must be more powerful!

With many arms, threads and nets do they want to pull me into their shadow death, make me one of them. They resist. They want that everything stays as it is. And so we fight with each other about the life of ALL. Not they must lead, but I must. Not their absent hopelessness will redeem them from their mire, but my emotionless love. Now, I'm the one who plays the role of the delivering light-deaths, and this is indeed not easy!

Their bloodless fickleness builds craggy dungeons - my steadfastness will open those. Their fearful cunning stuck them down in spider-like ruins - my devotion delivers them. And yet, their grey world is so vast, so powerful and enormous that all I can do is kneel down and allow them to be as they are - from the depth of my heart.

Two thousand years, I'm spending in this realm, bend down on the ground, just like them, head between the shoulders, just like them, the parting pointing to the ground, just like them.

Two thousand years I bend with them in the depth of my heart, forgot, who I was and became like them. Thousand years, I cowered together with them within the essence of the unified humiliation and humility - until one day, the power inside me awakened.

SOMETHING stirred within me, sparked, flared up - only for one moment. A spark of light sped out of the One Point of my heart, expanded and threatened to consume me myself. Yet before this light could scorch me, I drew a breath of the ages-outlasting shadows into my heart and exhaled in return this spark out of my heart - and the realms of horror dissolved in a soundless light explosion.

This heart-spark was not my will for their shift. It was the spark of remembrance of myself - and I awakened.

Practice III
This is directed at the part of you, which stands in great maturity and wisdom over all others. It stands above them as it is already awakened. It came, to help the others awaken. It has an inner power and strength, to go into their emotional swamps and mental mountains, to respect them deeply, to love them for everything that they are and to do everything to help them onto that very path - to leave the realms of their fear.

a) Observe this light creator-being inside of you, that agrees unconditionally to these words and that starts out onto the path to the self-condemned with love and joy. Feel inside of you what it is that you have brought with you to nurture and heal, to encourage and console and how you can melt and lighten their will of stone for horror.
b) Also observe that being inside of you that resists these words and the whole story, that has "nothing to do with it", that has "enough problems of its own". Look at this closed victim-being inside of you that cowers in between them all and deeply believes that it cannot give anything because it has nothing to give.
c) Observe this offender-being within yourself, that knows about its own abilities and his light, yet is not prepared to give to the suffering - because they are unworthy, because they don't want it any other way. Because it despises them for their dullness and their decisions - because they remind you of YOURSELF.
Perceive all stirrings to push them deeper into the pit instead of helping them out of it, this arrogance, this hate and the abysmal pride of the priests, which wrap themselves into the veil of unsaved loneliness - without knowing it.

Allow all the currents to fly freely within and give these beings, these parts of you, time and space in your life in order for them to dance and melt with each other.

Your story of death
You ask yourself perhaps why we are guiding you into these incredible dark spaces. Why aren't we showing you the path into the LIGHT? Isn't that what you wish so much for yourself? Why are we going down instead of up? Often, you are confronted with death and darkness. They are everywhere. Yet, you do not want to face them, you don't want to accept them and so, you turn away with fear and judgement. You don't want to enter these dark worlds. You may think:" What can I do for these lost souls? They want to go there, they want to stay there. Why should I..." - Yet, do they really want to?

The fear of these petrified humans petrifies yourself. The fear of these deepest depths darkens your soul. You do not want to meet DEATH. Yet, there is also something else, that opens your heart wide, feeling: love, longing, security. Love for what? Longing for what? Security in what? Somewhere within the darkness, maybe with DEATH itself, seems to be a bright light, am incomprehensible clarity, a total fearlessness, an immense love, an eternal peace. Is that what you long for?

Well, you err - we are not leading you into those rooms, we are leading you out of them. You yourself are the beings of those mountains and swamps.

You yourself are long petrified. Yet you are also those, who kneel there and serve the others through your being. Since millennia, you kneel there and want to awaken. The spark of remembering YOUR SELF wants to flash up. This is your story, dear ones, your path and your misery. That's the reason, we lead you here.

Look around in your every day world: transfixed faces all around. From morning till night, you are surrounded by fear, hatred, bitterness and blood - in the streets, parks, stations, cinemas and even in the museums: pain, chains and entrapment. And all of you earn in one way or another your money with this.

Millions of people are at any give moment very happy to judge others or let others judge them, depending on what is reigning inside: aggression or fear, pride or guilt. This also drives your money flow.

This is your world at the end of time. Console yourself. It will not get any deeper. You have already arrived at the deepest realms. The millennia of blindness, petrification and death lie behind you.

We help you here and now to open your eyes AND HEARTS. In this love-story, we show you the deepest point of your life that you do not wish to see at all. That which you lock away from yourself, we touch and shake through this story. It is your own. Face it and accept yourself in this way. Accept the labyrinthine forest, the grey rocks and the dark swamps of your live. It is not them, that bind you, it is you who binds them - simply by not acknowledging them, by ignoring them. So you ignore yourself. Rise above that. Accept them in order to release them.

And there is also another side within you: you have become sensitive, easy to shake. You perceive humanity in a very finely tuned way, which often hurts you. You feel like the elves and fairies - delicately and powerful. You receive messages from the angels - sensitive and forceful. You feel within the magnet-free fields of Earth, yet you have become Spirit-Electric, as clear as the masters.

Now, master, angels and elves do not disperse wisdom, but take on the wounds of others and cry. They take the pain and shadows of others with them into their crystalline river of tears. They do that quietly. This, too, happens in our story - and in your life.

During the last two millennia, humanity has gone deep down into these deepest rooms. Now, ascension has begun and for that, they need your help. Let go of the fear of horror, death and depth. Look DEATH into the eyes a second time and recognize, who he really is. This will lead him and you into huge shifts: your emotional and mental horrors can become unhinged and leave your life. The death-forces within your cells turn into crystalline light. The magnetism of your cells turns into Spirit-Electricity. The dark cloak and the heart-flame of DEATH are going to pulsate powerfully, burn and MELT. They will crystallize and this has an effect on you: your own heart-love-flame will burn like never before.

This is the sign of the first true meeting with DEATH after eons of time - with YOUR SELF.

In this meeting, you transpose for a second time. Each part of you that you gave to DEATH now returns to you: the Spirit Light and Dark of the beginning, your heritage of the 1. Crystal Age - the remembrance of WHO and WHAT you are. This is his gift to you. In return, you give your crystalline Heart-Light to him, which didn't exist then.

You give to each other. You get back the split Pure Spirit of the Beginning Of Time and he gets the melted crystal of the End Of Time. Then, his so far cold and aloof fright turns into a gentle and blessing touch for many, he will yet encounter. And so, a great exertion turns into a comforting relaxation - and enormous pent-up dams of darkness can flow freely now and shift without people having to die, indeed.

The path of induction
The sensibility and wholehearted openness to totally surrender to the pain of humanity with their cancer, war and inflammation without finding relieve until it abates by itself - this is your path of induction. It is part of your harvest and maturing, with which you redeem the world and in which you find serenity, wisdom, emptiness and power - a perfect balance between Heaven and Earth.

And so you move right into the pain and suffering of humanity and it touches you deeply. It shakes you, yet it can no longer pull you to the ground. It can no longer petrify you or darken you. You don't close up, you stay open. You cry for them and there is no residual pain left inside of you. You take the thunderstorm onto you and you are the new day, which does not fear the next night of thunder - you are full of clarity and power, full of gentleness and compassion.

Your inner attitude affects your outer and the quality of your emanation. If you breathe freely between LIFE and DEATH, you can redeem the suffering of humanity, because then, you are one with them. You are able to take the grey veils off them and they can find their own path into the light. The crystalline light of your heart can redeem the twilight of humanity. The crystalline wisdom of your heart redeems the shadow-darkness of this world. And this is how, beloved ones, new energies, new worlds and a New Earth emerge - through you.

So long, you have searched for the key of eternal life and could not find it, as you have been searching in the light.
Yet, you hid the key inside the depths of your own darkness, inside the heart of death, which is one with you.

In the Hall of the Dark Thrones
This is both, a dream and a story, a meeting and a return, an induction of your life and a completion of your path. Read it with a wide open heart - often - best at night before you yourself enter into the dark halls of your own darkness, to find the light within them.

Induction and return
I let go with a deep bodily breath, float into my heart, breathe deeply again and fall. I fall gently and fast - deep - and arrive inside of a large, dark hall. Far ahead, there are three thrones on which sit three entities. I walk toward them through the vastness of that hall and I feel their calling in my heart.
There is a regal atmosphere of light, yet that light is of a dark quality. The brightest light is in the aura of the entities, yet is not bright as I know it, but infinitely dark. And this dark is strange to me. It is brilliant, of peculiar radiation. It is not light and yet it is.

Three beings sit on their thrones, cloaked in black, radiating darkness. These are the sovereigns of the darkness, creators and guardians of the Dark: fathers of the three ages. Whilst I advance, something inside of me opens. I recognize them, remember them. In the middle sits Maitreya, the father of the 1. Crystal Age, A LIGHT IN THE DARKNESS. On his right sits the father of the Lime Age, AN ENTITY OF THE LIGHT-DEATH. On the other side sits the father of the Dust Age, A BEING OF THE SHADOW-DEATH.

I walk toward the throne in the middle. I'm in awe. I bow deeply. Yet Maitreya speaks with a thundering voice: "Stand up! Stand tall and look me in the eye!"

I shiver and want to obey. Yet, its hard to do this. Celestial power and emanation mix with an incomprehensible ease and refinement. My earthly stability robbed off of me, I sway between longing and intolerability. He gets up from his throne and steps toward me. He kneels in front of me, like a father, who wants to be level with his child. He wants to look me straight into the eye and I can hardly bear it. Involuntarily, I, too, want to kneel - out of modesty, yet also to keep the distance. But he clasps his hands around my elbows and forces me to stand. He says:

"Keep standing! Tall!"

So I stand straight and look at him. I have to do it carefully, getting closer gently, without being torn apart in the process. He repeats full of ease and gentleness, yet adjuratory:

"Look me in the eye!"

I breathe deeply and decide to do just that. Black and sparkling is his look - of immense depth. Something inside of me wants to protect itself. Yet he says again - each word emphasising: " L o o k m e i n t h e e y e!" All my subtle trials to escape fail.

He does not allow me to flee, not a single part of me. HE WANTS ME HERE AND NOW - COMPLETELY. In the midst of my inner turmoil, I hear suddenly another voice, soft and encouraging: " Allow him to pull you inside of him and take him inside of you. Trust, all is well." It is HIM, who speaks to me without words. His gaze is still holding mine, his hands still around my elbows. I cannot draw away. I begin to see, carefully, like spellbound at first, spinning between flitting and fixation, with time becoming calmer. I look into his eyes and feel a powerlessness - no, a peace flowing inside of me, an eternal, time- and space less peace. He says:

Take ME inside of you!"

I close my eyes, take a deep breath and open them again. He is gone. I stand alone. He is gone and his throne is empty. Yet it is only a short moment of confusion before I recognize:


Now, I feel a great ease, a great vastness expanding inside. I feel the grandeur and power of this being inside of myself - no more boundaries between us.

They have dissolved and everything turns into a total natural meeting. Maitreya appears on his throne again and beckons me to turn toward LIGHT-DEATH. I obey. His visage emanates icy cold and blazing heat - the highest pulse of life and full death-power in one. It holds the most intense drama and the deepest stillness trapped in one room. Debilitating magnetism and crashing electricity radiate from him and the one helps endure the other.

I comprehend deeply that he is the guardian of the human poles, the transformer of life between the worlds. He, too, rises from his throne and comes toward me. He, too, kneels before me like Maitreya did. Even though, I don't have the impulse now to also kneel, he still clasps my elbows with his hands. There is a meaning to this that I don't know. Yet, I don't dare to ask. His head is slightly tilted so I can only see his black hood, not his face.

Gently, he pulls me closer. I don't feel any resistance, only a mixture of unbearable calm and immense excitement. Then, he lifts his head and looks straight at me. He speaks without words and without any movement of the mouth.

"Look me in the eye!
Look at me!"

His pure Heart-Light transilluminates his cloak of pure Darkness and both seem to cancel each other out. Unfathomable waves of love roll onto the shores of my perception. I look into his eyes and it is so easy now. Yet, at the very moment that my gaze meets his, I'm torn out of my body and am thrown into a dark and alien room. A ghastly scream penetrates from the depth, like coming from a primeval animal, and at the same time a roaring, tinny breathing. I see an image of hundreds of thousands of warriors in suits of armour in the rain, just before battle. They bellow into their helmets, stomping their feet and lances to spread the fear of death among their enemies. I'm deeply shaken.

Father death is looking at me intently. Inside of him is a nameless calm; deep and untouchable moves his gaze though my life. He sees my inner images, he knows my fear. He knows what stirs inside of me - and allows it some room. A furious dance of death-fears and life-pain is within me. Faces, distorted by fear, masks of death, appear and dissolve again.

Fight-in-life and peace-in-death exchange their roles and are no longer to distinguish from fight-in-death and life-in-peace. Fight and peace, life and death interlace like fog and vapour in a storm. And suddenly, crystalline flames flare up in the darkness and bring new forms, colours and sounds. Father DEATH opens his mouth and says gently:

"Breath me in!
Breathe out the illusion of death!"

I close my eyes and once, I breathe deeply. I know and feel: he is inside me, LIGHT DEATH is now inside of myself. Just a moment later, he is back on his throne. Now, I turn toward the last entity: SHADOW DEATH. He is the father of the twilight and the Shadow-Darkness, a being full of power and dignity, non-personal, non-individual - a fatherly being, like the other two, yet closer to humanity. Because it is their Feeling- and Thought-Darkness, that he carries and holds. From him come all lower creatures, all black magic and horror. He is the divine hatchery of all dark and repulsive creatures and - their guardian.

He lifts himself from his throne and comes toward me. Imperiously, he kneels before me and takes my elbows firmly into his hands. At this moment, I understand the meaning of this gesture: by holding my elbows, these entities take away my resistance und cut me off from a way out. They break my earthly will and render me incapable of action. They bind my heart directly to their actions and channel their will into my body. They convey their wisdom and power onto me. They give themselves up to me. They give their being into mine and return back into their own completeness, that lies inside of my heart.

Our eyes are level. His look is dark, deep, yet regal. Contempt lies within his eyes, icy cold. He demands hard and softly at the same time:


I look inside of his eyes and see his body within them - hidden from black veils - a chiselled being with hollow cheekbones and a distorted, narrow mouth, from which only poison seems to drip. A thin, unsubstantial body, which has neither organs nor bones, but grey veils, threads and energies - formless beings, which endlessly spin around themselves, interlacing, coming apart like snakes. The inner space of this body seems vast, a grey universe and at the same time a human-vampire-being in spider-like shape. And just therein lights up a celestial beauty.

His aura breathes unruliness, arrogance and aloofness, powerful veiling-forces and twisted masks, which hide a gigantic Inner Light - and a limitless loneliness.

I look into his eyes - and see though the ages. Space-Times and Time-Spaces open up and dissolve. A curious yearning for life flashes through me. He looks inside of my eyes - daggers and balm for my soul - whilst I stand as tall and straight as I can. I feel the ground beneath my feet shake and slip away. How can I stand tall now? I sway a little and his grip around my elbows tightens. He says softly and with a full voice:

Breathe SHADOW-DEATH in now!
Breathe out illusions, veils and masks!"

I close my eyes. And here, too, it is only one deep breath and I feel him disappear on the outside and appear inside of me.

An elaboration of the Three Fathers

As much as we used to hide the mysteries of your life in order for you to live and die, as much we now wish to open up these very mysteries to you in order for you to live. And so, we want to elaborate on some details, which you tend to overlook likely:

By clasping your elbows, we disarm your Ego, deliver your soul and convey the wisdom of Spirit onto you. We open the gates of your memory - because you wanted us to. We dissolve the separation between the opposites and take you beyond the boundaries of duality. We show you that the guardians are of a very different nature than the guarded: the father of horror is of a different nature than the horror on Earth. The father of death is of a different nature than death on Earth. The father of the One Light is of a different nature than the light on earth. It is up to you to experience and comprehend this deeply - by facing us.

LOOK AT ME means:
"Uncover, who I truly are.
Recognize me as that part of yourself, which you once threw away - and forgot"

"Take me back into yourself, allow me to circle and dance within you.
Become whole and complete again."

With the out-breath, you created duality, with the in-breath, you create oneness. Everything, you suffer from, everything that is mean and conflicting, you created with the out-breath. Now, you can take it back with your in-breath, as it is surging toward you. Everything that frightens you on Earth only needs to be breathed in, back into your heart. Then, fear and horror have disappeared on the outside and are resurrected within you - as crystalline beings of power and clarity.

Each form of spiritual or energetically protection from other humans and situations perpetuates your separation. With the out-breath, you have sent your own Spirit away into the bodily realms, where it got lost and became a creature. By holding your breath, you also hold the creature, your own Spirit, separate from yourself. With the in-breath, you take the creature, into which your Spirit transformed, within the bodily realms, back into you and deliver it.

With your breath, Spirit became creature.
Your breath transforms creature into Spirit.
Breathe deeply.

And whenever you step into the sacred halls of death and redeem them, we breathe with you with our deepest love.
We are with you with our deepest respect. We are Maitreya and Thoth, Saint Germain and Sabine.

Text: Sabine Wolf
Updated by: St. Germain
The German text is edited by: Monika Schwörer

Pass on this material and the web site address. Allow as many people to participate, especially those who are not on a spiritual path. Please respect us as the authors and send the material all over the world. Our love flows through every word.

Thanks to all of you, who you are participating in this seminar, began to blossom within it and now give the gift of yourself to the world. I thank Saint Germain and the entities of the Crimson Circle, who's love- flow into our lives becomes ever more tangible.
I thank all, who add their human love, wisdom and powers to this. In this way, we will carry on and expand this work.

Account Germany:
Account no: 5000 54 1300
BLZ: 278 937 60
Volksbank Seesen
IBAN: DE66 278 937 60 5000 5413 00


Sabine Wolf, Wennigsen, May, 28th, 2007